Gone
by miss-anonymous13
Summary: A short, one-shot songfic about Spot and some of his less admirable habits.


Disclaimer: Yes, I discovered I forgot to put this in during my rush to post. (Congrats on getting into NCSSM, Ashley!) Thank you, Daydream, for keeping Disney at bay while I added this. (they can be brutal, and I would rather not be sued) So, to make it official, I do not own Newsies or the song Gone. (sung by Kelly Clarkson, written by Kara DioGuardi & John Shanks) I hope that clears up any lingering copyright issues. 

_What you see's not what you get_

_With you there's just no measurement_

_No way to tell what's real from what isn't there_.

I took his hand in mine and led him up the stairs to the special place I had prepared for that evening. I tried to keep the smile of excitement off of my face as he looked at the closed door ahead of us in disdain.  
"What's all this Singe? You know I don't like surprises," Spot glared at me with his usual look of arrogance mixed with impatience, but this time his blue eyes held some curiosity. I smirked.  
"I know," I said, and threw open the heavy wooden door. We were on the roof of my boarding house, the clear sky above us revealing the first few stars. I had come up earlier in the day and fixed us a table with a nice dinner (well, as much as I could get on my small salary), and I had laid a blanket down so that we could watch the sun come up. It was very romantic. I let go of Spot's arm and lit the candles I had spread around on various crates. The sun was just beginning to set.  
"What's all this for? I gotta know!", Spot said, grabbing my arm and whirling me around. I smiled my most mischeivious smile, and wriggled from his grasp, still keeping my eyes locked on his.  
"Today marks two months that we have been together without any," I paused and licked my lips, searching for the right word, "Breaks"  
He drew me into his arms, and this time I didn't protest. Our lips met, but I pulled away after a moment out of habit, my green eyes giving him a calculating look. The look I hadn't known I possessed until our relationship began a year and a half ago. He looked at me with a burning desire and passion that almost frightened me had I not seen it before.

_Your eyes they sparkled_

_That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain_

_You washed away the best of me_

_You don't care._

He put his lips to mine again, and I could feel my knees weakening as warmth flooded my body. If he hadn't put his arm around my waist, I know that I would have melted onto the floor. The kiss deepened, and I drew away for a moment to catch my surroundings again. It was then the night was ruined.  
"I love you Spot," I said, my voice thick with passion.  
"I love you too, Alexa," Spot said, and leaned in for a kiss. I leaned in also, but before our lips met, I registered what I had heard.  
"Who's Alexa?", I said angrily, and broke away, the passion gone. Then I remembered exactly who she was. She was one of the girls he cheated on me with during one of our "breaks". Or, more specifically, she caused the "break" in the first place.

I backed away from Spot, shaking my head in disbelief and denial. He looked oblivious to my pain, and tried to get closer to me. The desire was still evident in his gaze.  
"Oh Spot, you promised," I said regretfully, trying not to let him see my sorrow, but continuing to back away. "You swore last time that you wouldn't cheat again. How could you"  
"What're ya talking about doll? I ain't cheated on ya with nobody!", Spot said vehemently. I looked into his eyes, and saw the same look I had seen a few months ago. I knew everything he said was a blatant lie.

"I can't take it any more Spot. A girl here, a girl there, to you it's all a game, but to me, it's a huge part of my life. Ever since you got control of Brooklyn, it's been a different girl each night. I thought I could change you. I was obviously very wrong," I said, my temper rising.  
"I'm telling ya, I ain't been with nobody else! Besides, where do ya think you're gonna go? No-one'll have ya!", Spot said loudly. I just hoped none of his "birdies" could hear us. Bad things happen when you make Spot Conlon angry. I knew from experience.  
"I'm going to live with my friends in Manhattan. They'll be there for me," I said, and started blowing out the candles, one by one.

_You know you did it._

_I'm gone_

_To find someone to live for in this world_

_There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight_

_Just a bridge that I gotta burn_

_You're wrong if you think you can walk right through my door_

_That is just so you coming back when I've finally moved on_

_I'm already gone._

I threw the last items I owned into a bag. I had fashioned it out of a large handkerchief and a bit of extra thread from my patching kit when I left home. The bag and its contents were lightweight, which didn't surprise me. I had given up my place in society for my relationship with Spot.

I remembered my mother yelling at me the day I left for Brooklyn. She kept telling me that if I left with the "street rat," there was no coming back home. The memories left me with a sick feeling in my stomach and my eyes full of tears. My parents had predicted everything, but I hadn't listened to their warnings. I never knew if Spot was going to stay with me, or ditch me from day to day. I barely made a living selling papers, and I had no friends in Brooklyn to help me through the break-ups and make-ups.

I was now a seventeen-year-old girl stranded in the streets of New York. I knew that most girls in my situation would sell themselves into prostitution or commit suicide. I also knew that I could never bring myself to do either. I would go to Manhattan, and try to find my way around the streets. Maybe I could find my old friends from before I knew Spot, and the would take me in. Some of them were newsies, maybe they would recognize their own kind and have pity. Maybe.  
I just knew I had to get out of Brooklyn.

_Sometimes shattered, never open_

_Nothing matters when you're broken_

_That was me whenever I was with you_

_Always ending, Always over_

_Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster_

_I am breaking that habit_

_Today._

Spot banged his fist on the door just as I was about to leave our room at the lodging house. I drew myself up, and I opened the door to my least favorite person.  
"What's your problem? I ain't been with no one but you!", Spot said angrily, and blocked my way. I knew he was lying. I had seen it too many times before to not recognize that look. This was the last straw, I had made up my mind. I shoved his arm over to let me have clearance. I hurried down the stairs of the lodging house, various newsies seeing my face and getting out of my way. They had witnessed this before, but this was the last time they would ever see me.

_You know you did it, I'm gone_

_To find someone to live for in this world_

_There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight_

_Just a bridge that I gotta burn_

_You're wrong if you think you can walk right through my door_

_That is just so you coming back when I've finally moved on_

_I'm already gone._

I breathed in the chilly night air, and was glad for my long pants, my coat and the hat that was keeping my head warm. Then I remembered that the hat was Spot's. I grabbed it off my head at once and threw it onto the sidewalk ahead of me, stepping on it as I went by. It felt good to do that, even if it was a bit childish.

The slight breeze blew my blond hair in my face, and I pushed it angrily away, now regretting ditching the hat. Then I heard footsteps.  
"Singe- Stephanie, please wait," Spot's voice called out. He had followed me. I had had it with him. He just can't take a hint, can he? I whirled around, all kindness gone from my body.  
"Look Spot, I gave up my life for you. If I was back at home right now, I would already be married and live in a nice home. Instead I am running around the streets at night, dressed like a boy. My reputation is ruined, and I can't trust you. I never could trust you," My voice cut through the silent alleyway, its malicious tone giving away where I had gotten my nickname. "I can't take your infedelity anymore. I thought you would care for me. I thought your life was glamorous and exciting. But now I realize that with you Spot, you never can tell what is going through your head. So like I said before, good-bye"  
"I'm sorry Stephanie. I really am. You know how hard it is for me to say that," Spot quietly said, then looked around to see if anyone was watching. I rolled my eyes, and kept walking toward the Brooklyn bridge, knowing that once I crossed it I was out of Spot Conlon's reach.

_There is nothing you can say_

_Sorry doesn't cut it, babe_

_Take the hit and walk away 'cause I'm gone_

_Doesn't matter what you do, it's what you did that's hurting you_

_All I needed was the truth_

_Now I'm gone._

I knew that Spot was still following me as I approached the bridge. My anger flared up again, and this time I did nothing to restrain it. I turned on my heel to face Spot as he came closer to me. There he was, running after me, just like I thought. When he was a few feet away, I let loose my temper.  
"Damn it Spot, I just can't get you to leave me alone, can I? I know I don't look it, but I can take care of myself, I'm not like your other girls. I'm tougher than they are. Just go away, and let me get on with my life," As I practically screamed these words, my face got closer and closer to his. I could feel his ragged breath on my face, normally a sensual moment, but this time it was anything but romantic.  
I wanted to hit him, to hurt him as badly as he had hurt me. The blood pounded in my ears as I grabbed his shirt collar, wondering how bad the repurcussions of me punching him would be. How long would it take for me to be able to stand? Finally, I noticed a speck of fear hidden deep in his gaze. Perfect.

_What you see's not what you get._

I shoved him back away from me, sparing none of my strength. I listened to Spot's footsteps fade as he ran back to the lodging house. To get someone to forcefully bring me back, or to go meet Alexa so she could comfort him. Both possibilities sickened me. I picked up my pace.  
I remembered the first time I had met Spot. I had fallen in love with him at once. He was strong, handsome, and confident, the epitome of the perfect man. When he asked me to be his girl, I gladly agreed, and left my comfortable life to be with him. Then he got control of Brooklyn. I was promptly disposed of so that he could be with the deluge of prettier girls that his new position brought him. But everytime, he would eventually find his way back to me. But while he was with each girl, I had nobody to talk to, nobody to sell papers with, and nobody to love. Two months ago, when he came back to me the last time, he promised this time it was for the rest of our lives. Obviously, he just couldn't let old habits die.  
As I stepped onto the sidewalk at the end of the bridge, I let out a massive sigh of relief. I was finally free. I knew that my life for the first few months would be miserable, but I would finally be rid of Spot and his fickle heart.

_You know you did it_

_I'm gone_

_To find someone to live for in this world_

_There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight_

_Just a bridge that I gotta burn_

_You're wrong if you think you can walk right through my door_

_That is just so you coming back when I've finally moved on_

_I'm already gone_

_Already gone,_

_I'm gone._


End file.
